Most of the things I wrote back my AHS days were truly not fit for publication. Reading through them now, I experience very little pride and a whole lot of shame. But, in every pile of rocks, there are a few diamonds. Or so I like to think.
So, without further ado, here are the two best columns I wrote in the three years I was a Roar staff member: "Talent Not Required" and "Looking Back in Time."
Talent Not Required
Once upon a time, there was this thing called talent. In order to be an important figure in pop culture, to capture the attention of millions, you had to have it. Aspiring actresses didn’t get the part if they couldn’t act. Wannabe rock stars didn’t get lunches with the record execs if they couldn’t play. If nothing else, you had to be able to put on the show that you were talented; rarely was fame just handed out.
But today, things are much different. It’s obvious everywhere.
Take, for example, the pop stars of today. Their songs are catchy, don’t get me wrong - but these days, techno beats and mindless, severely AutoTuned lyrics have replaced the need for actual substance. Anyone with a trashy wardrobe, a “pretty face,” and an interesting reputation - or the potential to create one - has the ability to be the next media darling. Talent not required.
In the same vein is the idea that anyone can become a superstar, right from their own home, without even needing anyone else’s consent. From YouTube sensations to self-produced musicians, our world is littered with one-shot celebrities.
Another, possibly even more obvious, example of talent less success are the TV “stars.” Back in the day, if you switched on the old tube, you would find an array of things - game shows, sitcoms, etc. Never would you ever find a show about someone’s “real life.” But that’s all there is today. Reality TV has polluted the airways for years now, and it’s getting worse every day.
You absolutely cannot find a channel that doesn’t have at least one reality show. And it’s these programs that are all the rage with my generation - The Bachelor, Teen Mom/Sixteen & Pregnant (which, on its own, requires a whole different rant), and - shudder - the Jersey Shore. It’s pretty nauseating.
Obviously, not everyone shares my opinion because these so-called celebrities continue to be popular. But, my point is still relevant - if anyone can have fame, why would you even want it?
Looking Back in Time
It seems like every time I get in a car with Maggie Shirley, I end up missing my childhood.
The first example was last semester - October, I think it was - when Kody Balliew and I went with her and some of her friends to the Art Walk in Abilene. Obviously, lots of art and such was seen, but the highlight of the night was when we all piled back into Maggie’s beloved Honda, Stinson, and partook in a very passionate conversation about the greatness of 90’s TV.
More recently, back in April, I found myself riding around a ridiculously wealthy neighborhood in Austin, late at night, with Maggie and Melany Maurer, jamming out to every horribly fantastic 90’s song Maggie could find on Melany’s iTouch. It was arguably the most fun I had that weekend.
To me, fun is what the 90’s represent. I don’t mean the “misrepresented youth” 90’s, consisting of those people who endorsed apathy, flannel, and dirty hair. I’m talking about my 90’s - and probably your 90’s too. The time of scrunchies, boy bands, Pokemon, Britney Spears, and life lessons from Mr. Feeny. Those were the days, right?
Naturally, we were really young in those days and could be easily influenced by almost anything. So, looking back now, we can see that most of the things we thought were totally awesome are now completely lame. But, that’s sort of the beauty of it all. These were our tastes before we had taste.
The music, for example, is largely looked down on. I mean, it is pretty terrible, to be honest. But, for the most part, the pop stars were actually singing (or…lip-synching - whatever), instead of using AutoTune. And though there was rarely any impressive lyricism or stunning instrumental talent in a song by the Backstreet Boys, those jams still get suck in your head.
On the other hand, cheesy pop music aside, some truly great things came out of the 90’s (like, actually really good and not just good-because-we’re-all-still-seven-inside). For example, the Disney movies released in the 90’s were some of the best ever made. And I dare you to come up with a 90’s TV show that isn’t still adored by someone.
Ah, 90’s TV. It’s a whole other thing in itself. From the awesome cartoons (Rugrats, Recess, Hey Arnold!) to the “young adult”-targeted sitcom-type shows (Boy Meets World, My So-Called Life, Clarissa Explains It All), games shows (Double Dare, Figure It Out), and our very own Saturday Night Live (All That!), 90’s television was super fantastic.
This is the last column I’m ever going to write for this paper. It’s both sad and exciting, like most things are right now, and I wanted to use it as a way to look back.
So, in this crazy time of transition, when we’re all trying to pretend we’re not nostalgic for playgrounds, in-school naps, and getting to watch The Magic School Bus in class, let this column stand as a reminder - just because our childhood is behind us, it doesn’t mean we have to totally let it all go. So, go dance around your room to “…Baby, One More Time” or treat yourself to some TMNT - no one is going to think any less of you for it.
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