Top 10 Film Babes

Recently, there was a thing happening on Instagram where people were using the hashtag #Top5FemaleCharacters and listing who their fave babes from literature were. One of my friends named Maggie tagged another of my friends named Maggie, who then tagged me to do the thing.

It was really hard. As soon as I was asked to name five female characters I loved, I blanked -- despite being both an avid reader and supporter of girls. I also couldn't think of any books that I had read besides Harry Potter. And then, when I sat down in front of my bookshelf for inspiration, I couldn't find any ladies I really loved. It took some real work.

I finally came up with my five though: Hermione Granger from HP, Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl, Blair Owens from Cape Refuge, Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, and Colleen Minou from Stoner & Spaz. Interestingly, there was a common theme: ladies who aren't always (or even usually) likable. Go figure.

What the experience really got me wanting to do, though, was write about my favorite females in film. At this point, I've probably seen more movies than I've read books (for better or for worse) and there are some film ladies I really, really love. I also think I see myself in girls in movies more often than in girls in books, for whatever reason.

Naturally, I'm long-winded, so I couldn't narrow it down to just five. Ten is a better list number anyway, right?

I also broke them into categories because I am a dork.

Enjoy!


The Quirky

Wednesday Addams - The Addams Family, Addams Family Values

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Of course I love Wednesday, y'all. Of course I do. She's the absolute weirdest. She comes from one of the best families to ever grace TV or film. When she's asked where her Halloween costume is, she says things like, "I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else." And she wears the exact same hairstyle as I did in sixth grade. She's awesome.

Juno McGuff - Juno

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"She reminds me of you. Except...not pregnant." That was what one of my friends in high school told me, as we headed into the movie theater to see Juno while on an overnight UIL trip (I was very cool, obviously). And, though her phrasing was kind-of backwards, I saw/still see what she meant. Juno has one notable difference from me -- I was never a "cautionary whale" -- but otherwise, we have a lot in common. We are both defensively sarcastic brunettes with vaguely questionable fashion sense, who talk too much and too quickly. At one point, she tells Jason Bateman's character that the greatest time for music was 1977 and when she tells him he doesn't understand the magic, he reminds her that she wasn't even born -- an exact exchange (but with a different chosen year) that I have had with too many people, too many times. Juno is smart and snarky and funny and I liked her immediately.

Also, this movie greatly affected the way I spoke from the second I saw it. If I didn't already sound like the characters, I certainly did afterwards/still do today.

Also part II, much like with Wednesday, I often sported Juno's exact hairstyle when I was a high school underclassman.

Sally Albright - When Harry Met Sally...

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It's a tough call, but I'm pretty sure When Harry Met Sally... is my favorite romantic-comedy. If not, it's absolutely my favorite Nora Ephron/Meg Ryan collaboration. And Meg Ryan movie. Everything about it is wonderful, from the mismatched protagonists to the little old couples to the scene in the diner.

And I super-love Sally Albright. She's adorable. She owns six pairs of days-of-the-week underpants ("They don't make Sunday...because of God"). She orders everything on the side. She doesn't remember people's names and then acts superior when someone else doesn't either. She has fantastic hair, every time it shows her except with the perm. And she says what is quite possible one of my favorite film lines of all time: "It's amazing. You look like a normal person, but you are actually the angel of death." I have felt this way about a lot of people.

Basically, Harry's speech about Sally at the end is how I also feel about her. Also, that speech UGH FOREVER, IT'S SO PERFECT.

The Girly

Elle Woods - Legally Blonde (and also the less-worthy sequel,  Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde)

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I'm going to make another bold claim here: Legally Blonde is the greatest feminist movie of our time. And that honor is earned completely through the power of Elle Woods.

This movie is literally about a girl everyone underestimated because she is blonde and likes pink and has a tiny dog, who decides to go to law school to win back her boyfriend. And she gets in to law school. And then her ex-boyfriend is the worst, so she decides to kick ass at law school and becomes the best of the best and becomes friends with the girl who was mean to her (because she is a flawless pink angel) and ends up with Luke Wilson, who is Way Cuter than the first guy anyway.

She does all of this without ever losing who she is, fur-covered phone and all. It's a phenomenal lesson taught to a generation of girls like myself by a character we will, tbh, never be worthy of.

I really love Legally Blonde, y'all. I believe in Elle Woods.

Cher Horowitz - Clueless

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I love Cher for the exact same reasons I love Elle. Everyone underestimates her because she is a girl/blonde/likes to shop, but she is actually smart and savvy and super-nice and caring.

She dedicates her time to "helping two lonely teachers find love." She befriends Tai when no one else in her group would have. She donates her stuff to the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief Fund. She helps her dad with his law work, even if she makes mistakes sometimes. And her argument about the Hait-i-ans really wasn't that bad.

Plus, she has a great sense of style. And Alicia Silverstone's hair makes me want to shave all mine off. And she says great things like, "She's a full-on Monet. It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big ol' mess." And she ends up with Paul Rudd.

She's truly an icon.

The Sassy

Olive Penderghast - Easy A

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Oh, Easy A. I knew virtually nothing about this movie when I bought it on impulse at the checkout line one day, but that ended up being one of my better life decisions because it's wonderful. And the main reason why is Olive Penderghast.

I was destined to like her, as she is played by one of the great loves of my life. She is also hilarious and sassy and doesn't mind being thought of as a floozy because at least she's being though of. Instead of shying away from rumors, she turns people's words back around by embracing them. She too wishes John Hughes had directed her life and her performance of "Pocketful of Sunshine" looks exactly like me listening to music at any given time.

Like most women on this list, Olive is the type of character I wish teenage girls could see more often. She is unfailingly herself, whatever the consequences, and it ends up working out for her -- because being yourself usually does. She also has some of the greatest parents I've ever seen in anything.

Megara - Disney's Hercules

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One time, Melany told me that Meg was the Disney character I most reminded her of and I almost exploded out of happiness. Because she is great. She's irresistibly snarky and her first line to Hercules is literally a kiss-off about how she doesn't need his help. Be still my heart. Plus, she has a really cool backstory -- she fell in love and sold her soul to the devil to save her honey, only to have him leave her for another girl; now, she's perpetually enslaved to Hades, forced to do his bidding, callous and bitter. Telling a story like hers isn't something Disney does often, so I relish it when they do.

Plus, she sings one of my favorite Disney songs of all time.

Miranda Priestley - The Devil Wears Prada

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A lot of people might watch The Devil Wears Prada and hate Miranda Priestley because she's so terribly mean. I watch The Devil Wears Prada and love Miranda Priestley...because she's so terribly mean.

She is truly a heinous bitch and I live for it. She is glamorous and rude and rules Runway with an iron fist and a steely glare. She is not in the game for friends. She takes no prisoners. She is fabulously awful and a complete delight to watch.

She also gives this speech, which slays me every time.

Beca Mitchell - Pitch Perfect, Pitch Perfect 2

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When I saw Pitch Perfect in theaters, I didn't like it that much. I know. What was I thinking? How could I have seen such a wonderful piece of American cinema and been anything less than absolutely smitten?

(It was because I thought all the funny lines had been put in the trailer. Upon second, third, 80th viewings, I have realized I was woefully wrong -- the entire movie is funny and all of the spoiled jokes were Fat Amy's, who is the least funny character anyway.)

Once I corrected my incorrect opinion and saw Pitch Perfect for the gem that it is, I could truly focus on sparkling diamond Beca Mitchell. Like Olive Penderghast, she is played by one of my Great Loves, so she had that going for her anyway. But on top of that, Beca is just cool. She's really funny and a little rude and she mixes music like it's the easiest thing in the world. She also sings like an angel (which is, you know, the point of the movie). Her only flaw is that she doesn't like movies, but she meets a megababe who fixes that. 

(My sister always says that Beca is very like me, but due to the movie thing, I must instead be the fictional offspring of Beca and Jesse. I'll take it.)

And...Penny

Penny Lane - Almost Famous

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Penny Lane is a complex character. She's stylish and enviable, insecure and naive. Even when she makes mistakes, you still sort-of wish you were her. Or at least, I do. Penny lives a life I can only dream of, as the leader of a group of women who call themselves "Band-Aids" (not groupies -- they're in it for the music, not the sex with rockstars...although that happens, too) in Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous, a movie I can't even talk about because it makes me feel too many things.

Penny is, truthfully, not even my favorite Band-Aid (that's Sapphire) -- but without her, there would be no others. Penny Lane, I salute you.


That's the whole gang! Tell me your favorite film babes! Five, ten, 50, whatever. Or better yet, make an Instagram post (#TopFilmBabes) or write a blog about them. It'd be cool to make this a thing~.