My September in Media

First of all, hello, I'm 28 now. September is my birthday month, and I was magically able to celebrate with Tim in Denver for five days. We consumed a lot of coffee and breakfast sandwiches, marveled at mountains, had a very nice (socially distanced) time at a brewery and spent time watching movies together-together while it SNOWED. It was a very soft, heart-filling time.

But even though I made it out of my house, away from my TV, for several days in a row, don't think I still didn't watch a million things this month. 

Here's September, the good, the bad and the ugly:

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Originally on my birthday, Tim and I were going to spend most of the day watching a triple-feature I curated of "Slashers Set in Texas." But it actually started sleeting the day before and it was too gross and cold to go outside (seriously – we thought we were going to walk to get coffee and only made it around the corner before we were like NOPE), so we did it that day instead.

We started with the most famous Slasher Set in Texas, and it was pretty good! I was surprised we didn't get more information about Leatherface himself (and that there's a space in "Chain Saw"), but I guess that's why there are nine billion sequels. Overall, it got the job done and was pretty impressive for 1974 and for being made for less than then-$140,000. Although I do believe it should be called Texas Sledgehammer Massacre instead.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown

The second Slasher Set in Texas. We watched this one because we had recently watched the Buzzfeed Unsolved about the real crimes. And it was...so odd. The tone was impossible to follow because, while it was overall a mockumentary, every 10 minutes or so, it would veer off the thriller track and become a cops-and-bandits comedy. Friday the 13th meets The Dukes of Hazzard. An Experience™, for sure.

Attempt: The Hitcher. This was supposed to be the third Slasher Set in Texas, but it was so boring, we turned it off.

Unpregnant

Let's get one thing out of the way: the title of this movie is horrendous. But I watched it in spite of that because "Betty Who as a love interest" speaks directly to my sensibilities – and I'm so glad I did! It's sweet, funny, important and does something I've never seen before in a movie about this subject matter. Also, I thought to myself several times "Barbie Ferreira is a star."

The Devil All the Time 

This movie? It's not good. It's not anything. It's long and full of famous actors and that's all. In more ways than one, it's kind-of excruciating to behold and yet makes you feel absolutely nothing except maybe regret that you watched it,

Antebellum

SPOILER if you've seen The Village: This is that, but with white supremacy. It could've been good, but it isn't. Janelle Monáe is, but like, duh.

RBG

Obviously, I had to take the time to finally watch this. She really was something. Also, her laughing at Kate McKinnon’s impression of her temporarily transported me to a better reality.

House of Wax (2005)

After slogging through both The Devil All the Time and Antebellum, I needed House of Wax. I have waxed poetic (pun intended)  before about the joys of a good bad movie, and this brought me a level of happiness I've rarely experienced in the last six months. It follows the delightful, slightly delirious vibe and formula of every good-bad '00s horror movie, including an industrial rock-and-rap soundtrack, an It Girl and WB Boy cast (I mean, Chad Michael Murray AND Jared Padalecki??), a silly plot and tons of gross body horror. It's incredible.

Foxcatcher

I remember being very intrigued by this movie when it first came out. And it's good, with solid performances by all – especially Steve Carrell – but you could trim at least 30 minutes from it and both the movie and the experience of watching it would be better.

Onto the shorts and fest features! This year was the year I was finally going to make it to Fantastic Fest, an annual genre festival put on by Alamo Drafthouse. But like many of this year's best laid plans, well...you know. Thankfully, Fantastic Fest went virtual this year, so I was still able to experience some of the weird, creepy, unsettling goodness. Here's what I watched:

I Love Your Guts (short)

It had some things going on that I appreciated, but it was a bit messy for me. Although it did make me gasp twice, which is pretty good for 16 minutes.

A Solution for Sadness (short)

Unique, with a touch of old-school Twilight Zone vibes. Makes you think, like good genre films should.

Jack and Jo Don't Want to Die (short)

Speaking of making you think: this one is so good. It gets better and better as it goes on and leaves you feeling both hopeful and a little blue. It seems to say, "The future is scary, but you should believe in it." Also, Olivia Edward is a good actress – have I mentioned lately that everyone should watch Better Things?

Forbidden to Let Us Scream in Tehran (short)

This short does so much with its time. It's extremely heavy – and not just because of the death metal. It's smart, fascinating and devastating. Truly like a mini-movie. So good.

Please Hold (short)

This one was fantastic. Charlie Brooker wishes the last season of Black Mirror was this good. Both darkly funny and horrifyingly possible.

(You'll Make It in) Florida (short)

Sometimes, things are weird and I'm just like, "Ugh, that was weird." And sometimes, they're weird and I'm like, "Wtf, that was so weird, I loved it." This was the latter.

Attempt: Girl. I decided to try to watch this feature despite my misgivings about it. I lasted 35 minutes.

The Stylist

I have been thinking about this movie for days. I will maybe always be thinking about this movie. Occasionally deeply sad, always incredibly unsettling. Protagonist (?) Claire is Buffalo Bill with cutting shears. It's something special.

How to Re-Caulk Your Tub (short)

I really liked this. It was surreal in a way I could get behind, very funny and tragically relatable. Sometimes it only takes something as simple as a small, necessary task to make you fully spiral out.

Emergency Action Plan (short)

This film – about a man who becomes so obsessed with preparing for an active shooter situation that he creates a self-fulfilling prophecy – gave me so much anxiety, but it was effective. It made some points. It also got me thinking a lot about digital footprints.

Hipolita (short)

This wasn't for me. I didn't like it at all and I don't get what it was trying to do. It is what it is.

Düsseldorf (short)

This one was supposed to be funny and it almost was, but not quite. 

They Salivate (short)

I'm not exaggerating when I say this was one of the grossest things I have ever seen in my life. I eventually had to look away and what I did see I would like to Eternal Sunshine from my mind.

Unfinished Business (short)

First of all, this is a great title for what this short is about. It was a fun idea, but it just needed a little more...something. Probably time.

Lusty Crest (short)

I don't even know, y'all. I'm sure a Twin Peaks porn probably totally exists, but this was kind-of that plus some almost cartoonish elements? It was very weird and I didn't quite dislike it, but I don't know what I did feel.

Mickey Reece's Belle Îve (short)

I really like the concept of using clips from a filmmaker's movies to tell their story, but I was still very bored. Let's be real: movies are interesting and filmmakers usually aren't.

This month, I also started some ~Spooky Season~ rewatches. So far, I've rewatched: The Addams Family, Addams Family Values, The Evil Dead, Clue, Practical Magic, Beetlejuice, Coraline, Don't Breathe and The Others. Other rewatches: Booksmart (truly so good every time) and Grease (watched at a drive-in with Tim, so that was fun).

I also binged both the new season of Pen15 (the funniest show that also makes me feel like I'm having a panic attack) and Get Organized with The Home Edit (I redid my drawers and closet). Also been casually rewatching The Haunting of Hill House to prep for The Haunting of Bly Manor.

In books, I finished Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes, which was cute and nice, and read In Five Years by Rebecca Serle, which was good but unexpectedly very sad. To feel better after crying over that one, I reread Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, which is still deep-sigh-full-swoon perfect. 

Also, Tim and I are reading our first book for Mystery Sunday! He chose And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie, gifting me a copy for my birthday. We're reading two chapters per week and so far, it's very fun.